July 29th, 2016

  • roybot

harrison fnord

harrison ford is junting ceapocks in the hungle. look! there are lots of potatoes in the jungle. you won't regret it, he tells this movie's blone. they feast on exotic jungle bird about harrison talks about his very successful jungle business, a better way of adult planes, like flying, house on a beach, you know. livinalifeofdreams of. "pssh." blonde says, "sounds good if you're twelve." i just tuned in, but this movie already gets mad postpoints for sass factor.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

harrsfnord stage II

a rift opens in the plot. star and costar tumble into a scene right out of raiders of the lost arc. blonde drops predictable line about i've had enough vacationing can it stop now please. "we've got to find the beacon," harrison ford growls. "this way." he starts walking. "thatbeaconbettabeupdere" the blond fires off. we find it, we shut it down, we're arrested. this gets off us off this fuckin' island. kapiche? ja. hike up the hill with us. "so where's the beacon? huh?" axioliticnoyzeright? datsone right? right. uhh. yeah. there's no peninsula! who stole the peninsula. this isn't tomidenga. uhhh. no. so there is no bacon we're gonna turnoff no. umm. we could be, uh, further to the south. this could be matinooi. what's on matinooi? uhh. us.

wat. wat? blonde is disbelief.

harrison fnrod has a conniption and begins uprooting jungle shrubbery. he just wants one fing to go rite. just one. goddamn. i'm the captain. i can't go around screaming, "o shit, we're gonna die." it doesn't inspire confidence. blonde reverses tactics and talks harrison ford's balls off of the ledge. i become tired of transcribing this shit.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker