February 10th, 2016

  • roybot


the man said he was going to go off and play some "vidja." i asked, joshingly, if he was a "veedidyajay" without realizing that i'd executed an embarrasing slide from texan to urdu -- and, texan's don't noe shit about urdunomics. or hindi, perhaps that was more hindian pubjabi? the disanskreet formulation, rather than continuous hindi? it was no matter. in the time i'd taken to reflect on my alarming turn of phrase, he seemed to have went off for that there vidja. i deemed this outcome to be acceptible and resumed counting my scones.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

three for ten

the gentle cleaver of logic. it was my most powerful ally, just as fear was to darth vader. i just had to let the logic float through a point in me, and then into this man's cranial overhead comportments.

"it says three for ten. there are three of whatever strange vegetable is, in this bag. therefore, the cost is ten."

"well, sir," the clerk explained, "you only have one bag, not three."

i nodded. he nodded.

"i'd like to speak with your manager, please." i calmly requested.

he seemed noplussed. "look, i'd be happy to just let you pay ten for this bag of, uh ...strange purple vegetables... but, like, i have to ring it up through the computer! i can't change that! only my manager can change the..... oh, hold on. one moment please."

triumph, as always.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker