July 23rd, 2010

  • roybot

post containing phrase 'rotary snaws'

no simple man can contain such a fart in butter. it's all hurrrRRRRRsdlkfjklsdfklsd and your butter is askew. theoretically, the large hadron collider could change this. theoretically. dirigibly, it's tangible, and the definition of tangible is non-fungible. funnel-able. ible? quibble

that paragraph didn't go so well. let's try again: if you care about johnny cash, does he care about you? probably not, but can someone swing by and wave a care-o-meter on the dead chicken over it? god i wish that jerk next door would lay off the hammers and rotary snaws

hamblers and rovely snaws and tringers and gamboozles~! such wondriffiful merriment to be had on expense accounts aplenty. did you know health insurance is only available to full-time employees? LOL SUX 2BU

yes, waiter, i'd like a large huge, a small small, and a thirsty drank. what? no. no pickles. what kind of pedestrian do you take me for? i'll have your marbles for this -- all of them. if they aren't attached to your head already

BREAKING NEWS: THIS ITEM OF NEWS IS DESIGNED TO GET YOU EMOTIONAL OVER SOME COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT THING, OVERWHELMING RATIONAL SENSE, BREAKING INTO YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS, AND WOULD YOU LIKE TO VOTE MCDONALDS THIS SEPTEMBER?

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

excerpt

I was on my way to Lou's Fuckin' Tannin' Joint to hamper some celebrity egos while the tanning bet's countdown timer held them unable to scamper askinter from my derranged cheesery, when I spotted a quarter on the ground. Hello Quarter! You are shiny. I will put you into this nearby parking meter. OK. Now I will stand in space and pretend I am car.

STOP HONKING AT ME!! I paid for this space. Yes I did. With my quarter. Unless it was your quarter? It was? You lie. You treacherous knave. Hell wouldn't let you past the velvet bellweather. I don't care if you're in congress

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker