October 15th, 2009

  • roybot

Riced Out Halloween 2009 Part I

Barack Obama rolled out of bed, grumbling. He couldn't quite recall the dream he'd been having. Michelle snoozed on beside him, not seeming to share his unease. Thoughtfully, he sparked up a cigarette. All he could remember was the phrase "Give Us A Snare Rush." His basic knowledge of jazz bands told him what a snare rush was, but this failed to put the mysterious statement in context. Cigarette hanging of to the side of his mouth, he wandered over to the window and carefully peeked through the curtains, at the rising sun.

"I'M TAKING CONTROL OF THE DRUM MACHINE!" a voice said.

Obama whirled around, startled, a spot of ash flying onto the carpet. But... there was no one there.

Unnerved, he hastily strode over to the wall and flicked on the lights, his hand hovering over the panic button. If he pressed that button, Shit Would Happen.

But, there was no one there. Michelle mrrrned and rolled over. Obama picked around the room, checking behind the curtains, the sofa, and finally, under the bed. He found nothing, and headed for the shower.



STAY TUNED FOR PART II

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

leif erikkson stole my burrito

leif erikkson stole my burrito, the fucker, and that is why i am launching a national campaign for leik erikkson to give the fuck back teh my burrito. i will put up flyers, i will knock on doors, i will kiss babies, and i will fearlessly urinate in public restrooms. all this, bececause i believe in where i stand. if i didn't, i'd fall through the floor. in any vase, flowers are pretty, leif erikkson plz give teh fuk bak my burrito. seriously, mang, i got so much julius in this cibep that lucille ball will astral travel into your knickers. just give me back the burrito. it's a good burrito. i'll never have that burrito recipe again. i am SERIOUS BUSINESS here, ok?? this is about america. this is about the future. this is about leif erikkson givin back my fuckin burrito. god bless america

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker