September 22nd, 2008

  • roybot

oprah's downward grape spiral

it started with just one grape. there was a basket of them on the table, and they were just so tempting. oprah chewed on her nails. she was on a diet. but it was just a grape. one grape... what could one grape hurt? she plucked it from the vine, and popped it into her mouth before any more nagging doubts could stay her hand. it was delicious. so delicious. she had another... then another...

little did she know, six months later, the police would be trying to talk her down from a ten-story tall pile of white castle cheeseburgers. she had threatened to throw herself off of it, right in front of her TV studio. by the time the police put her in cuffs, however, the pile was only nine stories.

it all started with a grape. one single grape... so delicious.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker