November 9th, 2007

  • roybot

Apple thanks you for your development work on the iPhone, hackers

tripping hard on two brown dots of unknown origin one stormy night, Steve Jobs hatched the following plan:
  1. Design iPhone
  2. Stir iPhone mania
  3. Squeeze cash from cell providers via exclusivity contract
  4. Lock down iPhone and taunt hackers by saying "NO TOUCH"
  5. Hackers "jailbreak" the iPhone, and do a lot of fantastic security consulting work for apple
  6. Weasle out of AT&T committment early with the excuse "sry we can't keep up with teh hackers" while still pocketing commisshes
  7. Profit

    then get lazy
    let apple stock sink for a few years

    and come up with another reality-bendin' biz scheme.


Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

SCIENCE

NON-IONIC SURFACTANTS
ANIONIC SURFACTANTS!!
CATIONIC SURFACTANTS!!!
ZWITTERIONIC SURFACTANTS!!!!



Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker