July 18th, 2007

  • roybot

to the state of new york, and road designers everywhere

why do you enjoy lane contractions and expansions so much? one lane, two, i don't care. just pick one and stay with it. if you have to narrow things for a bit, for legimate reasons, that's fine. for example, if your "primacord category" area of the budget doesn't cover dislodging an inconvenient mountain, that is fine. It is not fine to do it for reasons like: there's a two-foot hill in the way, we save money if we only build 1.5 lanes, this is an historic tool shed, etc. or whatever you monkeys do it so often for.

why? when i'm driving around at night, in drizzle and fog, on a road i have never driven on before, i don't appreciate attemping to pass a chevy, only to realize i am faced with the decision of:

a) driving into a ford heading the opposite direction
b) changing lanes into the chevy to my right

you see, i have been forced to make this decision, and trust me, building more fucking lanes will cost less than cleaning up after what could have happened if the chevy to my right had not been as aware of the situation as i was.

thank you,

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

I demand proof

as i walked through the supermarket, i noticed a household cleanser with a label claiming that "cleans like magic."

i refuse to just accept this. how do THEY know that cleans like magic? did they do a survey? did they do interviews? did they do a study? what is n? did they they even speak with a single goddamn clean? how do they know that all cleans aren't "conservative christians" and think magic is the devil? or, if we take this to mean theatre magic, what about crotchity old cleans that do not find such things amusing any more? huh?

goddamn marketing departments.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker