July 17th, 2007

  • roybot

behind the cut

Riced Out Yugo correspondent Mr. The Plague here, with a copy of Harry Potter 7 that fell through the time vortex formed at midnight on the book's release date due to the collective wankery of fans. Here's some meaningful plot points on the latest in J.K. Rowling's series of books.

  • Harry Potter learns the long-rumored-impossible "Quaxo Incognito" spell (page 481)
  • Voldemort becomes president of the US, much to the relief of both Iraq and Israel. (page 212)
  • Harry lives out the rest of his days as a loan clerk at a prestigious Norwegian bank after moving there to escape from Hermione, who's pregnant with his child.(page 728)
  • Arthur Weasley adds a Riced Out Yugo to his collection of muggle artifacts (page 183)
  • In retaliation for Voldemort having taken over the USA, George Bush becomes headmaster of Hogwarts. I mean, it was either that or have the Dark Lord rule the magical community, right? (page 213)

Posted by Mr. The Plague (mastar of teh gibson)