June 8th, 2007

  • roybot

A Touching Tale

This morning, seeking to cure a mild hangover with vigorous exercise, I tore through the garage in search of my bicycle. However, I was unable to find it. Later I would discover that quantum tunneling (or maybe one of the house-owners that used the garage) had moved it to the porch, but at the time it was mysteriously absent.

So, I dusted off my roller-blades, which I had a lot of fun with back in the day, but have not used in years, and tore off into the dawn.

I fell a few times. I kind of expected this, due to my long absence from the sport. It is also, I suppose, kind of like skateboarding, in that losing some skin is part of the territory.

One fall, I cut my left knee pretty good. It wasn't that serious, and as a youthful, vaguely reckless, non-OCD lad, I wasn't carring band-aids. What else was there to do but continue along? So I did, my wound oozing blood.

Eventually I tired, and headed home. By this time, other people were starting to show up on the previously-deserted streets - yuppies walking small, fluffy dogs (otherwise known as fashion accessories that poop). By that time, my slow leak of bodily fluids had had plenty of time to do its thing.

The sight of a lad rumbling by on rollerblades, left leg coated in blood, seemed to rattle them somewhat.

I should do that every morning.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

Shocking discovery

A shocking discovery has been made at the University of Rochester that wood causes cancer. Desperate attempts are being made currently worldwide to take down several landmarks and houses are being rebuilt so that they are safe for human inhabitancy - most houses are now being built out of plastic in the hope that humankind will be safe.

Dr. R. J. Wilkinson has encased himself in a box coated with 2 metres of lead in an attempt to free himself of the wood-infested world. Although his attempts have been criticised he stated before entering the box - "I'll be the one laughing 30 years down the line". Dr. Wilkinson later died of lead poisoning after trying to eat the inside casing of the box. His widow will inherit no money as it was spent on the lead protection device.

Our advise is to stay indoors at all time unless of course your house is made out of wood. If your house is made out of wood run for your life, jump into a lake to detoxify yourself then burn yourself alive.


Posted by Mahjong The Wisest
  • roybot

IT ALL MAKES TOO MUCH SENSE

MC Hammer is a robot. He doesn't eat, sleep, drink, or smoke. Listen and understand. The Funky Headhunter is out there. It can't be bargained with, it can't be reasoned with. It does not feel pity, or remorse, or fear, and it absolutely will not stop. Until you are dead. Think About It.

RTQP is dead. He died in a horrible cabbage accident in 1967. He was replaced with a look-alike and sound-alike actor. There are clues hidden throughout Riced Out Yugo. The first clue is contained in this post the imposter made today. The real RTQP would instantly recognize a quantum tunneling incident and would phone the breakcore police immediately. As you may know, I was RTQP's pawn for many years. I know the man well, he would not under any circumstances fall while rollerskating. Another subtle reference is hidden post 1757, "Mr. Mole" refers to RTQP. Mahjong states that he has not seen him around in a while. I believe News Corporation is taking advantage of this replacement to gain an unfair advantage in Yugo dealings. You may have noticed that Riced Out Yugo has been making less and less sense since about 2003. Why is it that this is the only post that makes sense on any level? Think About It.

Shiny new plastic shit DOES NOT MAKE YOU HAPPY, DESPITE WHAT YOU MAY THINK. Think About It.

I AM NOT A FUKBOT ALREADY, JESUS. IT WAS JUST A LIE WE MADE SO WE COULD SELL MORE RECORDS. I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD COME TO THIS. I DIDN'T MEAN IT TO END IN SUCH TRAGEDY. I'M SORRY. I'M SO SORRY. Think About It.

Phillip Glass and Ice Cube are the same man in all likelihood. Have you ever seen the two in the same room at the same time? Didn't think so. Think About It.

The Riced Out Yugo Forums are a lie. They do not exist. There is nothing there. You are imagining things. Perhaps you have been drugged in your sleep. They're probably putting something in the water. Think About It.

THE MARS LANDINGS ARE A HOAX. THEY NEVER HAPPENED. ANYONE THAT SAYS OTHERWISE IS LYING. Think About It.

Posted by HYPERFUKBOT
  • roybot

Ok

Glad we've got that cleared up. I'm now typing very carefully in order to make 80% of normal Mahjong standard. So FUKBOT and I have spent most of the last few hours messing around with IRC and it's endless old skool capabilities.

INTERNET RELAY TUBEZ - IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY.gf554

Posted by Mahjong The Wisest
  • roybot

Cubes.


I will try to bring to your computer as many pictures as cubes as I can find before I pass out. Thank you.

CLOSE THE TAGS MAHJONG. ALWAYS CLOSE THE TAGS... anyway:












HAHAHA!!!HAHAHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAH!4083750

Posted by Mahjong The Wisest