June 7th, 2007

  • roybot

What kind of asshole doesn't have chocolate chips?

Chocolate chip cookies are a common fixture in American society. Even if one does not generally eat them oneself, cookies are often made for new neighbors, friends, and neighbors/friends that called the fire department while you were shopping at fucking Ikea, but left the stove on. Furthermore, even if one does not make COOKIES, chocolate chips are used in a vast variety of recipes. I daresay they are a basic food ingredient, much like butter or flour.

So, as I tore through cabinets at four AM in this house I am currently staying in, I was dumbfounded when all I managed to find was a small handful of chocolate chips, not even enough for a half-batch. You may wonder if the supply was merely exhausted before the next shopping trip, but shopping had been done this very day. I found myself asking: what kind of asshole doesn't have chocolate chips?

I went to my inter-net machine and attempted to a-locate a store open 24 hours, only to find that NOTHING is open before 7 AM in this bumfuck suburban shithole.

No doubt I will be reprimanded for having made noise whilst tearing through cabinets, and have no cookies to show for it.

What DID I find, instead of chips?
  • Five boxes of protein suppliments
  • Artificial egg protein
  • Fake, low-cholesterol butter
  • Aritifical vanilla flavoring
That's it. I'm drawing the line: America is fucking over. We may as well all move - or start a new country, the United States of Botox. Or the United States of Fucking Artificial Everything Because It's Lower Cholesterol (But Might Give Us Cancer Instead).

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

Dear RTQP

I speak for myself and the rest of the Yugo staff when I say that pay this month has been at an unacceptable low. Decent living standards could not be maintained and I had to resort to buying budget brand cookies, BUDGET BRAND. I lost contact with HYPERFUKBOT a few days ago when he had resorted to selling CD-Rs of Dr. Dre albums on the street... I fear for the worst that he has been killed by some Tupac fans. Fuckle hasn't been seen for days either but the last I heard was he had been living off pop tarts... I also fear for the worst. As for myself again, the budget brand cookies have nearly run out and food supplies are getting extremely minimal.

Riced Out Yugo is NOT a communist organisation so please increase the wages higher than $10 an hour. gdfoiuhgfd087 the rats are coming. I MUST DEFEND THE COOKIES. INCREASJHOIUE WTHE WATGFBES.WGANTM FKLSD;F09

Posted by Mahjong The Wisest
  • roybot

The Great Hatsby

The biggest mystery since the Q in RTQPs name.

Now all the main hype has died down a little I think it's safer to touch this subject (a bit like 9/11). Who is Hatsby, why is he such a l33t h4x0rz, how many hatting bots does he run, where does he live?

So many questions which will never be answered. I guess we can all live in hope.

Your biggest, biggest fan,
Mahjong.

Posted by Mahjong The Wisest
  • roybot

Quiet today

Yes, there's been nothing apart from me since the RTQP cookie post. This is why today's Yugo's posts have consisted of 95% more bullshit.









PS: EWRJJIEE'E##'/;][FFFFFFFFFFFFF[49999832
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f88888888888888888888888888888888888888QQQQQQQ0 00sdgglokp65i65465654fdggfgfdgfdgfgd;;'#'# 000 333f dggig-943t#f'f sflp wworki

Posted by Mahjong The Wisest
  • roybot

Half-Caste by John Agard (Revised Edition)



Explain yuself
wha yu mean
when yu say riced out
yu mean when Picasso
mix red an green
is a riced out canvas?
explain yuself
wha yu mean
when yu say riced out
yu mean when light an shadow
mix in de sky
is a riced out weather?
well in dat case
england weather
nearly always riced out
in fact some o dem cloud
riced out till dem overcast
so spiteful dem don’t want de sun pass
ah rass?
explain yuself
wha yu mean
when yu say riced out
yu mean tchaikovsky
sit down at dah piano
an mix a black key
wid a white key
is a riced out symphony?

Explain yuself
wha yu mean
Ah listening to yu wid de keen
h4x of mih ear
Ah looking at yu wid de keen
h4x of mih eye
an when I’m introduced to yu
I’m sure you’ll understand
why I offer yu h4x-a-hand
an when I sleep at night
I close h4x-a-eye
consequently when I dream
I dream h4x-a-dream
an when moon begin to glow
I riced out human being
cast h4x-a-shadow
but yu must come back tomorrow
wid de whole of yu eye
an de whole of yu ear
an de whole of yu mind.

an I will tell yu
de other h4x
of my story.



Posted by Mahjong The Wisest
  • roybot

HYPERFUKBOT

HYPERFUKBOT IS BAT FUCK INSANE
HYPERFUKBOT IS ACTUALLY JESUS
HYPERFUKBOT IS THE NEW YOU
HYPERFUKBOT IS LIFESTYLE
HYPERFUKBOT FIGHTS CANCER
HYPERFUKBOT IS AGAINST TERRORIST
HYPERFUKBOT IS AGAINST RACIST
HYPERFUKBOT IS DOWN WITH DA CREW
HYPERFUKBOT TELLS NO LIES
HYPERFUKBOT SELLS NO PIES
HYPERFUKBOT IS NOT ROUGHLY 3.14 YOU MUST INCLUDE AT LEAST 4000 DIGITS


Posted by Mahjong The Wisest
  • roybot

(no subject)

furry nintendo 11111111111111
DIRTY NINTENDO 017777777777
qvegl avagraqb 0x7fffffff
qEgVL avRAQaGb 11111111111111
GvQel AVAgraqB 017777777777
ELgVq vaGRabAQ 0x7fffffff
________++++++++++_______________+__-_______+_______
__==__+___-__-_____+___--_
_____+___=_____=____+_____
____+__-______-______+____
___+______-_+_________+___
__+______________-_____+__
_+___________-__________+_
+_______-________________+
__+______+___+___-_____-__
_=_______=_____+____-__+__
___+_+_______-_________+__
__+_______+______+________
__+_____+___________+_____
__+_______+______+________
___+_+_______-_________+__
_=_______=_____+____-__+__
__+______+___+___-_____-__
+_______-________________+
_+___________-__________+_
__+______________-_____+__
___+______-_+_________+___
____+__-______-______+____
_____+___=_____=____+_____
__==__+___-__-_____+___--_
_______+__-_______+_______
________++++++++++________


Posted by HYPERFUKBOT