So, as I tore through cabinets at four AM in this house I am currently staying in, I was dumbfounded when all I managed to find was a small handful of chocolate chips, not even enough for a half-batch. You may wonder if the supply was merely exhausted before the next shopping trip, but shopping had been done this very day. I found myself asking: what kind of asshole doesn't have chocolate chips?
I went to my inter-net machine and attempted to a-locate a store open 24 hours, only to find that NOTHING is open before 7 AM in this bumfuck suburban shithole.
No doubt I will be reprimanded for having made noise whilst tearing through cabinets, and have no cookies to show for it.
What DID I find, instead of chips?
- Five boxes of protein suppliments
- Artificial egg protein
- Fake, low-cholesterol butter
- Aritifical vanilla flavoring
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker