May 3rd, 2007

  • roybot

THE CREATURE FROM THE FUTURE

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

IT'S THE CREATURE FROM THE FUTURE. IT'S COMING TO GET ME. IT LOOKS FOR ME AT NIGHT, I'M SCARED THAT IT MIGHT GET ME... DON'T MAKE ME GO INTO THE DARK PLACE, PLEASE DON'T LET ME GO INT4O0 THE DARKL PLACE,KLSD8UJSF;DP,KH;,KGFDOLREYBDP

Posted by Mahjong The Wisest
  • roybot

i say, old bean, have you seen my pants?

D.C. Judge Wants $65 Million for Lost Pants

Panel Considers Reappointing Judge Roy L. Pearson Jr.

Talk About Being Taken to the Cleaners (AP)

It began innocently enough. A dry cleaner losing a pair of pants, an enraged customer seeking justice... just like that episode of Seinfeld. We've all been there, we've all wanted revenge, but what can we do? What indeed. Unfortunately for the Chungs, owners of Custom Cleaners in Northeast Washington, this pair of misplaced pants belonged to Judge ROY L. Pearson Jr., who unleashed an avalanche of legal absurdity so perverse Kafka would blush.

The administrative judge -- whose job, mind you, entails determining civil infractions and penalties -- claimed that he deserves $65,462,500 in damages for the "mental suffering, inconvenience and discomfort" caused by the loss of his suit pants. To put that figure in some perspective, at his current salary, it would take Judge Pearson just under 650 years to earn that kind of cash.

Despite his seemingly ridiculous claim, because of Washington's bizarre consumer protection laws, Pearson has been able to stretch his trouser-tort out for a couple years now, costing the Chungs many sleepless nights and thousands of dollars in legal fees. Their plight has been so vexing that they even offered him $12,000 to settle, and for the record his suit including the jacket, which wasn't lost, had a value of only $1,100. But still he refused. Now broke and "disenchanted," the Chungs are considering moving back to Seoul, their American dream throttled by American litigation.

Now if there was any justice, a person like Pearson would be disbarred for his actions, but as irony would have it a "panel of four D.C. officials" is currently assessing whether he will be reappointed to another 10-year term. That means Pearson could actually spend another decade on the bench, handing down decisions and determining justice. Talk about the fox guarding the hen house. The only thing crazier than keeping him on the bench would be appointing oil executives to run the Environmental Protection Agency... oh wait.


http://blog.washingtonpost.com/offbeat/2007/05/dc_judge_wants_65_million_for.html

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker