March 27th, 2007

  • roybot

YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR GRAPES

you kids. i know how it is with you - grapes grapes grapes. well, i'm old!! you think i got time to fuck about with grapes all day? no-sir-ee-bob, why i had to take the trash out five times before breakfast this morning. after vomiting that many times i wagered breakfast was unwarranted, but that's not the point. anyways, you kids and your grapes. what is it with you kids? grapes grapes grapes, all the fuckin' time! i don't mean to grape gripe but fuck me mate, grapes are well fuckin' overrated! you kids need to do something' productive with your time. do you know what i do with my small amount of spare time??? do you?? you see, i play the ocarina. it is a quiet, polite, gentlemanly instrument, nothing like those overgrown keyboards those kids mash their faces on after poundin' some grapes.

but no sour grapes. juice do what i say and get the hell off my lime.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

an important message from the .7 for life coalition

recently, notices from the .5 for death coalition purporting blatant falsehoods to be fact have been circulated. we here at the righteous, decent .7 for life coalition should be your sole trusted source for non-integer information. anything published by the .5 colaition is likely to be slander, libel, and full of atrocious spelling errors.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

Friends, do not listen to these falsehoods.

Any respectable non-integer citizen will realise that .7s preachings are unethical and downright ridiculous. The main aim of the 0.7 Republic is to brainwash it's members into believing it's extremely biased views. You must resist this cult for as long as it lasts, stay loyal to the Board of 0.5

Thank you for your time.

Posted by Mahjong The Wisest
  • roybot

The Prodigy??

is liam the prodigy? is the prodigy liam? are you the prodgy? are we the prodigy? is he the prodigy? is she the prodigy? is that jack russell terrier the prodigy? am i prodigy? is liam the prodigy? isn't he? the prodigy u noe.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

The war on grapes.

THE NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF GRAPES ARE APPARENT. GRAPES ARE THE NEW GATEWAY DRUG. THEY'RE ALSO THE NEW DELL DRUG (DUDE, YOU'RE ADDICTED TO HEROIN). GRAPES HAVE BEEN SCIENTIFICALLY LINKED TO .5 AND .7. GRAPES CAUSE LUNG CANCER. GRAPES CAUSE BLOODCLOTS. THE GRAPES OF WRATH WEREN'T CALLED GRAPES FOR NO REASON. THERE IS NO "I" IN "GRAPES", BUT THERE SURE AS HELL IS "RAPE" AND "APE". WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU? GRAPES KILL BRAIN CELLS. GRAPES KILL FUCKERS LIKE YOU. PNRFNE IS NOT DOWN WIT GRAPES. NOT AT ALL. YOU WON'T TOUCH GRAPES ANYMORE IF YOU HAVE HALF A BRAINCELL LEFT. DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO PREGNANT WOMEN WHEN THEY TAKE GRAPES>?? I SURE AS HELL DON'T, BUT LET ME TELL YOU IT AIN'T PRETTY. GRAPES GET SOLD ON THE STREET WITH COMMON NAMES LIKE "GURRAPZ", "CTHULTHU", "RTQP", "RICE", AND "SPEED". DON'T TRUST PEOPLE WITH GRAPES. GRAPES CAUSE INVOLUNTARY QUACKERY. THEY INDUCE PREMATURE RETARDATION (EG: MC HAMMER). READIN MY RIGHTS 'N SHIT, IT'S ALL JUNK.. FUCK YOU UP. YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL BECAUSE YOU DO GRAPES, DON'T YOU? YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS? TOO BAD, YOU FUCKER ARE ALL GONNA DIE. THE SURGEON GENERAL IS COMING FOR YOU, AND HE WILL NOT STOP EVER, UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD. HE IS A MACHINE, A GRAPE-TAKIN', TEENAGER-KILLIN', CORPsE-RAPIN', MIND-BLOWIN', BIKE-STEALIN', CRACK-SMOKIN' SURGEON GENERAL MACHINE. THAT TINFOIL ON YOUR TIRES WON'T SAVE YOU, PUNK. THAT RFID TAG IN YOUR ID WON'T SAVE YOU. THAT PACK OF CIGARETTES WON'T SAVE YOU, UNLESS YOU SECOND HAND SMOKE HIM TO DEATH, BUT I DON'T RECOMMEND THIS BECAUSE I TRIED IT ONCE AND IT DIDN'T WORK ON HIM TOO WELL. ALSO, ATTACK HIS WEAK POINT, HIS WARNING LABEL. THE SURGEON GENERAL HAS A WARNING LABEL ON HIS FOREHEAD. IT IS A WEAKPOINT JUST BECAUSE IT IS. TRUST ME. JUST DO IT. THE SURGEON GENERAL KNOWS YOUR IP ADDRESS. HE KNOWS YOUR LOCATION THANKS TO MODERN GOOGLE-BASED PEER-EDITED TECHNOLOGY. HE'S READY TO FUCK YOU UP WITH WEB3.0, ARE YOU? NO. YOU'RE NOT. YOU STILL GOT TABLEZ IN UR HTML, WTF. MAN HE'S GOT DA SATELLITE TRACKIN' SHIT, HE'S GOT ECHELON ALL UP ON YO ASS. HE'S GONNA BUST A HEAT-SEEKIN' ROBOT MOVIE SPECIAL EFFECTS CAP IN YO ASS. HE'S GOT A SPATULA, CAN YOU HANDLE A SPATULA? HELL NO. HE DRIVES A CHEVY. HE DRIVES A REAL AMERICAN SUV WITH THE 20 METERS PER GALLON, HOW'S THAT FOR REAL AMERICA? HUH? TAKE THAT. LITERALLY. YOU THINK BATMAN'S GONNA SAVE YOU? BATMAN AIN'T GOT SHIT COMIN'. BATMAN IS STANDIN AROUND, JUST HANGIN. HE'S CHILLIN ALL UP IN HSI CAVE SMOKIN DA GRAPES. THAT'S WUT GRAPES DO TO YOU, MAN. THEY MAKE YOU VULNERABLE TO BATMAN. BATMAN IS TRAVELIN FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT. AS IN SPEED, I MEAN GRAPES. AND BY GRAPES, I MEAN A THINLY VEILED ANALOGY TO THE VIETNAM WAR WHICH IN TURN IS REFERENCING THE STYLISTIC METAPHOR PRESENT IN THE 1991 NOVEL PHENETHYLAMINES I HAVE KNOWN AND LOVED: A CHEMICAL LOVE STORY. ACTUALLY, I'VE NEVER EVEN READ THAT BOOK, IT'S ABOUT GRAPES OR SOMETHING. PERHAPS I'M TRYING TO CONFUSE YOU WITH MY CRUNK-FU, OR PERHAPS MY CONFUSION IS CLARIFYING MY INTENTIONS. OODA-LOOP UP IN YOUR FACE. OODA-LOOP ALL UP IN YOUR BISCUITS. YOUR FANCY LITTLE FACK FACK FACK BISCUITS THAT YOU BOUGHT AT HARDEEZ. MAN YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU BEEN FOR THE LAST 3 HOURS? I'M DOWN WITH PNRFNE, HE KNOWS DAT SHIT. YOU KNOW?! YYYEAH YOU KNOW. I'M ON A ROLL, BUT PEOPLE WANT ME TO STOP ROLLIN, BUT I CAN'T MAN. I'M A ROLLING MAN BY NATURE. IT'S LIKE THAT ONE DUDE, "THE UNDERTAKER", YOU KNOW THE WRESTLER? WIT DA SONG "ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN"... MY BROTHER WATCHES THAT SHIT, WHAT THE FUCKLE IZ HE THINKING, SERIOUSLY, THE SURGEON GENERAL WATCHES THAT SHIT. ICE CUBE DOESN'T WATCH THAT SHIT, NEITHER DOES _____. ALSO, DON'T BREATHE LIKE THAT, IT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL REALLY WEIRD. IN FACT, I'M STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD MYSELF... VERY
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MMM WTF ASRGAERIOTGJAIOEWRTJALISE
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WHERE IS THIS SHIT GOIN
49149012040120401420
0.5
0.5
0.5
0.7
0.7
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what the HELL IS GOING ON !?$!@?$!@ argh where am i. where are you. where1?!?!? WHY ?!!?!
HELP ME
I CAN"T HANDLE THE OVERLOAD
the WORLD IS FUCKING INSIDE IN
whaT THE FUCKSA ASARGH
I"M NOT TRIPPING OUT
I"M COMPLETELY SOBER
SOBER, MAN, LIKE SOVIET RUSSIA.
YOU FEEL ME?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????
!!! !!! ! ! ! !!!!!!!!!!!!!! !! ! !!!!!!!!!!!!! !! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !!!!!!!! ! ! !
INTERRORBANG
IS THIS GARBAGE DATA? GARBAGE IN - GARBAGE OUT? NO? YES? GIVE ME THE MEANING OF LIFE, BITCHES. DO IT ALREADY? plplzpzlzplzplzpzlzplzplzp COME ON YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. GODDAMMIT YOUR SHIT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

Posted by HYPERFUKBOT