January 14th, 2007

  • roybot

the superace doorknob collective

i was in the funkatorium, passing some funk, when elton john KO'd richard simmons in celebrity boxing. damn, i hadn't seen that one coming. one would expect a fitness "expert" to be able to take a tubby, aging musician, but apparently not. more sadly, i had $20 riding on mr. simmons.

i called my broker, arranged payment, and cancelled the money i had on lance bass.

you may call me biased - but i'm starting to lose faith in these homosexual types. no boxing skills at all.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

ravi shankar and the rabid dentists

YOU DON'T KNOW LOVE LIKE I DO
YOU DON'T KNOW GLOVES LIKE I DO
YOU DON'T PRAY LIKE MY GURU
OH SHIT MY RENT'S DUE

*sitar solo*

YOU DON'T KNOW SOAP LIKE THE POPE
YOU DON'T KNOW ROPE LIKE THE POPE
YOU DON'T KNOW DOPE LIKE THE POPE
AND YOU DON'T GROPE LIKE THE POPE

*intense sitar solo* *sitar solo scrunchy face*

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

let the hairline get ya

clambourines marginal. insane margarita bass funk. super dynamic inter trunk. phones off the hook, ebay auction l@@k!!. my hams aren't yams, but my yams are potentially hams. the dog likes banana bread, and her name is distinctly not fred. turkey turkey turkey, i don't got no turkey.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

listen.

Yo T, you ain't got no digital beatbox palais for me.
Break it down on the ambient tip, son. You gotta keep tha steez on 'doze beats, ya hurd. And whats with that tambourine shit? You can't do nothing new, you gotta stick with what werks, ya herd?
Be like Aphex or the Orb, can't do nothing new. You gotta know what works. I've had enough of this bullhonkery.
Now lets get down to it.

Posted by Supporter of Ham #2361