January 1st, 2007

  • roybot

i am feeling anti

anti-art
anti-tube
anti-words
anti-wards
anti-dada
anti-ford
anti-man
anti-girl
anti-feelings
anti-world
anti-fuck
anti-shit
anti-Rev. Tedward Q. Porktanker
anti-Fox
anti-chess
anti-pie
anti-ansi
anti-ascii
anti-year
anti-Dick Clark
anti-Walkman
anti-prison
anti-pope
anti-flag
anti-HDTV
anti-clean
anti-razor
anti-anti
anti-year
anti-itna
anti-coke
anti-weed
anti-mall
anti-fear
anti-god
anti-sex
anti-cum
anti-blast sheilds
anti-unexploded ordiances
anti-thinking before reaction
anti-insular chain gang free jazz collectives
anti-insipid titular child molester punk rats with nothing to lose
anti-me


Posted by Supporter of Ham #2361
  • roybot

1981 was a dangerous time.

It was the end of feeding time, and the guard came around to retrieve my tray. He didn't know I had a piece of fence-wire I had pulled off the yard earlier that day.
He also didn't know I had tested positive for HIV last week. I used my disposable razor to cut my wrist, with that I dipped the sharp end of the wire in the wound and waiting for Marshall Madden to pick up my tray.
Wait.
Here's a little backstory between Madden and I. When I first came to this place, I was singled out by Madden for a particularly brutal beating, followed by a night of repeated sexual assault by him and several other guards on duty. Never have I been treated so badly or without respect. Hell, I would have given it up to him if he just asked nicely, as he isn't ugly.
Alas.
Madden was two cells down collecting the trays. I held out my tray for him to collect. As he reached in, I jerked it back and grabbed his hand in an amazing ninja-like death grip. I raked the razorsharp wire across his arm, cutting as deep as I possibly could. He pulled his arm and slammed my face against the cold metal bars, breaking out several of my front teeth in the process.
I started spitting blood all over his face in a vein attempt to get it in his mouth or eyes. Madden got his arm free and flew against the bars of the cell across from me. Davis had a shiv and grabbed Madden and slammed the homemade weapon into his jugular vein.
Fucking Germans.

Posted by Supporter of Ham #2361
  • roybot

VIA THE PONY X-PRESS

RTQP: thank u 4 not smokin
Supporter of Ham #2361: lets be pen pals
RTQP: k

the transmission breaks off here. the following snippit of dialogue was retrieved from a sunken WWII era Japanese sub off the coast of Spain.

dear HAMSUPPORTUAR,

today i conquered europe. there is a boil on my shoulder i find distressing. my favorite color is emerald, what is yours?

thx,
--rtqps

DEAR RTQPS,

TODAY WAS QUITE DARK AND SUNNY + 70F. I HAVE LOCATED THE BASKETS, PLEASE ADVISE ON ACTIVE RESPONSE. EMERALD IS COLOUR OF SHADE, HOWEVER I PERFER ONYX WHEN AND IF I SEE IT. HOW MANY BROTHERS AND SISTERS DO YOU HAEV?

--HAMSUPPORTUAR

der h4mmeister,

today is rainy + 370k. i advise you bedeizen the baskets. oh my dog, that's the funky tish. i have 1.7 brothers and/or sisters. what is the capital of madrid?

--artiez teh qewpie

LISTEN ARR TO THA QEW:

BASKETS have MOVED, thanks for advice. I have a snake, he lives in glass tubes mit very many substrates. My familys is all dead. Madrid has five dollars and four spains? I have sprained my writing pen.

-hamshizzle

yo wizzle mah hamshizzle,

sell all baskets futures, the russian mafia is taking an interest in the industry. this new shampoo makes my hair as free, wild, and alluring as that of richard d. james. it is a pity your writing pen has been sprained, perhaps you should give the shopkeep a talking-to?

&c. &c.
yours truly
lord rtqp of entwhistle

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker