October 25th, 2006

  • roybot

The hearts and spines of America

There comes a time, you see, when Doritos (tm) simply no longer cut the mustard. Perhaps it is the sodium content, perhaps it is today's faced-paced info-society, or perhaps it is simply the fault of gravity... it is uncertain if we'll ever figure it out, so we may as well shrug our shouldercuffs and focus on the issue at foot.

Indeed, not even the threat of choco-narcolepsy stops these lads, a situation which, three years ago, would have been unfathomable. It is a lesson on many levels, and not just in how hard it is to predict which way the nutsack will swing. It is also a lesson in how not to microwave saltines.

So on November 7th, remember: whoever controls the hearts and spines of America also controls America's parasympathetic nervous system.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker