August 22nd, 2006

  • roybot

Riced Out Yugo brings you Mad Libs for reality

Dear [first name of recipient],

[casual, 'down-with-it' greeting]!

Due to your [superlative adjective] [noun reflecting best attribute of recipient, calculated via 7-dimension system of 350 linear equations on intern's ailing 1997-era Dell], you have been [past-tense verb meaning 'selected' that agrees with previous fill-in] to become part of our exciting new [obtuse, but exclusive-sounding phrase to disguise what is actually being sold].

Be one of the select few to join this exclusive, members-only club. Members enjoy [description of services provided by client to people that join]. Hey, it even [impossible and silly miracle benefit]...just kidding! We try to [phrase indicating the constant level of good-natured fun and strong employee emotional bonds at client's corporate office, selected based on age group of recipient].

Hey, we'll even [verb denoting cutting, removing, and/or decimating] the first [number] [class of time advancement matching previous number] fees. And, for a [limited time], pay for [number] [class of time advancement matching previous number].

["How can you lose?" - not said but implied]

[sunny sign-off imploration],
[name of junior sales executive at client's office],
Winners Dept.

[billing form follows]

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

The grue world order

there's too much blood in my caffeinestream. potatos farm people, except during blights. slide whistles don't slide, the silder in the slide whistle does. the television watches you. pamela anderson likes your tits. plasma televisions give you cancer. placentas are vital to american society. george w. bush loves cocaine. the simpsons is never on at the same time twice. my middle name could have been betsy. a stopped clock tells the right time, twice a day. by the time you read this, sir charles will be ready to take you on the bball court. the bureaucracy is full of government. martinis drink you. ambien swallows you. cows contract mad cow disease from humans. joke about soviet russia is not in soviet russian. dogs naturalized humans.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker