August 7th, 2006

  • roybot

Riced Out Yugo announces new miracle cure

With the recent stellar leaps in technology, exciting new products that previously only existed in science fiction are fast becoming reality. Here at Yugo, we know a lot about technology, we know a lot about science, and we know a lot about fiction. Consumers have trusted Riced Out Yugo to bring them exciting new products for generations, such as the vacuum cleaner, staplers, and tin foil.

Now, Riced Out Yugo is excited to announce an innovative new product:

Introducing Riced Out Yugo Digital W.A.T. (tm) (patent pending)

Riced Out Yugo Digital W.A.T. solves every problem facing society today, eliminates every daily hassle you face, and occasionally improves the weather, if it's in the mood. Global warming? Pah! Gout? Gone. You name it, Riced Out Yugo Digital W.A.T. has its paws in it.

Riced Out Yugo Digital W.A.T. is environmentally friendly, safe for external use, and comes in varying pastels. Riced Out Yugo Digital W.A.T. cuts through rust, kills bacteria, and just so happens to be farm-fresh. Delicious!

You owe to the world, your family, and yourself: Get Riced Out Yugo Digital W.A.T. today.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

Riced Out Yugo announces new research initiative

Riced Out Yugo is pleased to announce the release of a vast archive of user data to the scientific community. This information will provide researchers with an unprecedented opportunity to examine how people use the Internet, permitting exciting new developments in the fast-growing fields of telemarketing and unsolicited e-mail advertising.

"Riced Out Yugo's commitment to science has always been extraordinarily valuable," said Yvonne Fudgeworth, a professor of marketing at the University of Wat. "This new initiative will help us find effective new ways of targeting advertisements for dubious penis-enlargement products and sick, twisted pornography."

The Riced Out Yugo data archive, which will be distributed to scientists and advertising firms as a set of DVDs, contains the names, addresses, Social Security numbers, bank account details, credit ratings, bra size measurements, sexual preferences, and mugshots (if available) of 658,000 Riced Out Yugo users. To prevent any possible breaches of privacy, middle initials have been replaced by unique numeric identifiers.

Posted by fuckle