June 16th, 2006

  • roybot

LISPMANDMENTS

And the lord your g-d issued forth with the following lisp commandments:
  • Your functions shalt be pure; no impurity shall be found within them. For the I am the Lord your God of the Functional Paradigm.
  • Thou shalt not rplaca nor rplacd, lest thine functions become impure.
  • Thine recursive calls shalt be tail-recursive; for any other way invites sin unto thine stack. Tail-recursion is exalted for optimization.
  • When thine program is utilizing recursion, thou shalt always have a base case. Thy base case shalt always exist, lest thine function become infinite. Infinite recursion invites the gravest sin upon thine stack, that sin of overflow
  • Aliasing of thine lists is restricted to the acolytes and priests.
  • Follow the standards of the land. Nonstandard implementations of the language of your ancestors bring iniquity upon your descendents, the maintainers.


Posted by Mr. The Plague (mastar of teh gibson)
  • roybot

readme.1st

Увж юзер! Хочется сказать, что данный софт ты используешь на свой страх и риск, а следовательно никаких претензий ко мне быть не может. В свою очередь заявляю, что никаких наёбщиков-переёбщиков троян не содержит, он работает только на тебя.



Posted by fuckle
  • roybot

A LETTER FROM THE ESTEEMED BANK OF WATISTAN

DEAR SIR AND/OR MADAM,

I AM THE ACTING MANAGER OF THE LOL FARM OWNED BY THE LATE ZAKARIUS WIMBLETON TRES WAT MCFEEFLE IV WHO RECENTLY PASSED AWAY IN A TRAGIC GOAT ACCIDENT. WE HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO LOCATE THE HEIRS NAMED IN HIS WILL, AND I WORRY ABOUT LOSING THE QUIET, SIMPLE LIFE OF FARMING LOL THAT I CURRENTLY ENJOY. THE LOCAL LOL BARONS ARE CRUEL AND UNFEELING, AND IF THIS LOL FARM IS NOT CLAIMED, IT WILL ALMOST CERTAINLY FALL INTO THEIR HANDS, AND THEY WILL PAVE IT OVER WITH LOLMAC AND BUILD A GODLESSLY EFFICIENT LOL-FACTORY. I DO NOT CARE ABOUT MONEY, ONLY LIVING THE SIMPLE LOLIFE. AS SUCH, I AM LOOKING TO TRANSFER OWNERSHIP OF THE LOL FARM TO A THIRD PARTY WITH NO INTEREST IN SELLING IT, AND WILL FOREGO ALL SHARES OF THE LOL PROFITS IN EXCHANGE FOR BEING ALLOWED TO CONTINUE MY LOLFULL EXISTANCE. AS SUCH, I CONTACTED MY LAWYER, THE GREAT ZACHARIUS CHESHIRE CLAMP MCGEEZER III, AND HE RECOMMEND I DECLARE A FOREIGN PARTY AS RECEPIENT OF THE TERMS OF THE WILL. AS SUCH, I ACQUIRED ONE (1) COPY OF THE MANHATTAN YELLOW PAGES AND SELECTED A FINE MADAM AND/OR GENTELMAN TO FUFILL THIS ROLE (YOURSELF). IN EXCHANGE FOR MERELY SIGNING A FEW LEGAL DOCUMENTS AND PROVIDING SOME INFORMATION, YOU WILL TAKE OWNERSHIP OF THE LOL FARM AND RECEIVE ALL LOLFITS RESULTING YEARLY. WHILE THE LOL OUTPUT VARIES FROM YEAR TO YEAR, LOLFITS HAVE NOT BEEN BELOW THIRTY MILLION AMERICAN LOLS (L$30,000,000.00) SINCE THE GREAT ROFL DROUGHT OF 1987. ALL I ASK IN RETURN IS TO REMAIN AT MY POST. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN AIDING ME, PLEASE CONTACT ME A- hold on I have to go pay the nigerian internet cafe more $$$

PLEASE CONTACT ME AT THIS ADDRESS.

SINCERELY YOURS,
ZIKARIUS NOTTINGHAMSHIRE ZOOTZI MCAFFLE VI
GOD BLESS

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

Riced Out Yugo declares "War On Errorism"

Riced Out Yugo declares "War On Errorism"

Artie Qewpie, AP News

The international Riced Out Yugo association today issued a press release, declaring its committment to a War On Errorism. Spokesman Count Wat IV invoked the spirit of George Carlin, stating that there was "a lot of crap in the world that is stunningly full of shit." Pressed to explain this further, he told the AP that "I'm sick of them downsizing my microwave pizza and trying to fool me by advertising the 'NEW PACKAGE DESIGN'... they can kiss my package." The AP did not seek further comment.

The War On Errorism has loosely been described by Harvard sociologists as a "movement of movements," seeking to "clear the constipation from the bowels of world consciousness" and to "prod our movements into movement." The United States of America and its Congress has overwhelmingly emerged against the movement. Rep. Joe Barton (R, Texas) has been quoted saying, "Constipation is good for America. Our forefathers did not found this country on a philosophy of moving on. That's exactly what the Terrorists want - change. Why, I bet they've never even been to a McDonalds." Experts suggest Congress is merely defensive of its massive obesity after a years-long pork binge, which has hampered it's ability to, well, move.

The Riced Out Yugo Pundit, the Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker, proclaimed the following: "Black is black. White is white. Grey is sometimes black, and sometimes white - Grey offers consumer choice, and is healthy for America. This country is addicted to Congressional black and white - what we need are some alternative sources of color in this country."

Rupert Murdoch, head of styx-based News Corp, issued a brief statement, which experts believe to be a 17-second fart.



Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

as seen on THE INTERNET

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Posted by fuckle