Riced Out Yugo declares "War On Errorism"Artie Qewpie, AP News
The international Riced Out Yugo association today issued a press release, declaring its committment to a War On Errorism. Spokesman Count Wat IV invoked the spirit of George Carlin, stating that there was "a lot of crap in the world that is stunningly full of shit." Pressed to explain this further, he told the AP that "I'm sick of them downsizing my microwave pizza and trying to fool me by advertising the 'NEW PACKAGE DESIGN'... they can kiss my package." The AP did not seek further comment.
The War On Errorism has loosely been described by Harvard sociologists as a "movement of movements," seeking to "clear the constipation from the bowels of world consciousness" and to "prod our movements into movement." The United States of America and its Congress has overwhelmingly emerged against the movement. Rep. Joe Barton (R, Texas) has been quoted saying, "Constipation is good for America. Our forefathers did not found this country on a philosophy of moving on. That's exactly what the Terrorists want - change. Why, I bet they've never even been to a McDonalds." Experts suggest Congress is merely defensive of its massive obesity after a years-long pork binge, which has hampered it's ability to, well, move.
The Riced Out Yugo Pundit, the Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker, proclaimed the following: "Black is black. White is white. Grey is sometimes black, and sometimes white - Grey offers consumer choice, and is healthy for America. This country is addicted to Congressional black and white - what we need are some alternative sources of color in this country."
Rupert Murdoch, head of styx-based News Corp, issued a brief statement, which experts believe to be a 17-second fart.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker