May 17th, 2006

  • roybot

please take my haaaaaaand.

Everything was as it was when I ventured to the local grocerarium for cheap sesame orange chicken and fried rice ($4.17 total after taxes and talking to the man who speaka verrry rittle engrish).

The sliding door wouldn't open for me, so I had to elbow check an elderly woman coming out of the exit door to get in. Apparently the entire neighbourhood decided to get delicious orange chicken today. But oh whats this?

A large electric organ is sitting next to the payphone of doom. Perhaps the proximity to the payphone of doom will make this an organ of doom. No one seems to be manning it, and its filled with esoteric lights and levers that I'm sure I'll never figure out.

I pull up the bench and press down on a key. doooooot. DOOOOOOOOOOOT. brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrn. I start in on the opening riff of Iron Maiden's "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" much to the amusement of the people in the chinese food line.

INAGDADDADAVIDA BAYBAY! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT I'M LOVIN' YOUUUUUUUUU?! IN A GADDADAVIDDA HUNEYYYYYYYY! DONT' U NO THAT I'LL ALWAYS B TRU!

Somewhere around seven minutes into the song, and just past the first very kickass organ solo, a faceless manager pulls me off of the bench and tells me to knock it off. I quickly ask him for a LaserDisc copy of Mr. Nanny or Suburban Commando and I hastily make my exit while he's still screaming about the acting ablility of Terry "Hulk" Hogan.

I never did get my orange chicken...

Posted by Supporter of Ham #2361
  • roybot

note to self: potential bumper sticker slogans

as i was crusin' st. louis, i saw a bumper sticker imploring me to "EAT BERTHAS MUSSLES (sic)." inspired, i then dictated some bumper sticker slogans to my grammaphone:
  • I fought the bot and the bot won
  • My child was suspended from Johnsonville Elementary
  • Febuary is Beard Cancer Awareness Month
  • Blog for Christ
  • A hit a day keeps The Man away
  • MY OTHER SYSTEM IS A FOOTBALL STADIUM
  • Three is the magic number
  • Want to know how I got a Marquee into a bumper sticker? Call (530) 678-4931
  • Francis Nougat for Senate
  • Francis Nougat is Lord Peppermintine
  • My other shitbucket is a Fnord Broncosaurus
  • If you saw this bumper sticker, you have seen too much and I have to kill you*
  • This car has no resale value, don't fuck with me
  • My other bumper sticker was stolen by some punk kids
  • Rutabaga thrice daily, fuel fire, deliver food
  • Your Lexus adds to the the national trade debt and your cellphone is gay
  • I need a new muffler and I just had Taco Bell; don't tailgate me
  • O NO U DI'INT!!~~!1
  • wat
  • meatloaf transpire
  • My other car is a Riced Out Yugo
  • I say old bean, have you seen my hat?


*JOKE, LOL, LAUGH PLZ

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker