September 13th, 2005

  • roybot

rorrfle

Have you ever asked yourself, "What if the hand grenade manufacturer had forgotten to put the pin in at the factory? With what degree of caution should I treat such a munition?" Well, question no more!! Try the new W.A.T. Systems, Inc. replacement grenade pin. Guarenteed to fit three out of four grenades on the market.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

my cheapass flipflops make a lot of noise when i go down stairs

so TODAY!!!1 i decided to try ANTITHESIS TO MALARKEY PORTENTIATION. instead of SOCK AND SHOE on each foot, i wore CHEAPASS (tm) BRAND FLIP FLOPS!11 and packed LAPTOP IN BACKPACKS!1 instead of just notebook and mint tins. then i purchased a CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE, but the lad at the register DID NOT KNOW WHERE THE MILKSHAKE BUTTON WAS ON THE REGISTER!!1 so he had to ask a fellow cow orker who was doing charicteristicly inscrutable things to the fruit smoothie machine. I DO NOT TRUST FRUIT SMOOTHIES!!11 anyways, after COLLECTING M I L K S H A K E, i headed over to CLARC in anticipation of GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT. but then i realized i had forgotten the KEYS TO THE WEB GROUP KINGDOM and must lie in wait outside the castle walls, watching for an opening, writing yugo posts in my CHEAP ASS FLIP FLOPS, and siPPiNG my MiLkShAkE.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

things i think might be true

  • I think I get free printing in the UGCS lab. This would be an improvement to seven cent per page printing.
  • I think I saw Trevor on the stairs in Wilson Commons.
  • GEORGE BUSH DOESN'T CARE ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE
  • My DNA has four bases, and is CHOC FULL OF NUCLEOTIDES
  • Cheese is made of potatos


Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker