September 9th, 2005

  • roybot

the universal snax quandry

you down with the gravy enclave? because if not, we have serious issues, padre. comprehende? the last man that fucked with the gravy enclave is now a permanent part of its infrastructure. human bone marrow makes the best cake frosting.

should you choose wisely, and choose the side of the gravy enclave, you will be rewarded with all the gravy you can handle. a plan to receive payment in ketchup is also available, please see our human services department.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

it's a sdghajkfgsk's life

Choose wat. Choose a weblog. Choose the internet. Choose your parents' basement. Choose a fucking big LCD, choose optical mice, USB 2.0, streaming porn and electrical pants openers. Choose poor health, high cholesterol, and a diet of Hoho's. Choose flame wars on religious message boards. Choose a starter screen name. Choose your buddies. Choose a profile and matching away message. Choose a three-processor PC on hire purchase in a range of fucking distressed paint styles. Choose LOL and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch playing mind-numbing, spirit-crushing games, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to your parents and the selfish, fucked up brats you won't spawn to replace yourself.

Choose your future.

Choose wat.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

software mink loaf

riced out yugo and nullsoft would like to introduce TROUTCAST, a new inter-web system which will allow the streaming of STRAWBERRY-KIWI BANANA LOAF at lightning speeds due to revolutionary new compression/vacuum food sealing technology, all easily configurable via a convenient web interface.

bacon and extra cheese toppings are available

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

status quo

i am sitting in a concrete cube, with a window and wooden shades, watching hulk hogan learn pilates. below my window, drunk people stagger like some sort of ancient windows screen saver - you always try to predict the motion, but never quite get it. beer cans hitting pavement at high velocity provide sound effects.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker