July 22nd, 2005

  • roybot

TERMS OF USE

TERMS OF USE: You are not authorized to access or query our Malarkey database through the use of electronic engrams that are high-volume, but may hax advanced communications masts as reasonably necessary to register the data requirements of network-centric warfare, or modify communications masts; the Datums!1 in VeriExpensive Global Registry Services' ("VeriExpensive") Malarkey database is provided by VeriExpensive for information purposes only, and to assist persons in obtaining information about or related to Malarkey dispensery registration records. VeriExpensive does not guarantee its accuracy, but we do guarantee the right to overcharge you. tee hee. By submitting a Malarkey query, you agree to abide by the following terms of use: You agree that you may use this Datum!1 only for awful purposes and that under no circumstances will you use this Datum!1~ to: (1) allow, enable, or otherwise support the transmission of mass unsolicited, commercial bathroom tiling or hardwood flooring via pine, oak, cedar, or facsimile; or (2) enable high volume, automated, network-centric warfare that applies to VeriExpensive (or its ready to hax computer systems). The compilation, administration, inflation or irradiation of this Datum!1 is expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of VeriExpensive. You agree not to use network-centric warfare that is automated and high-volume to access or query the Malarkey database except as reasonably necessary to cross the rubicon in 49 B.C. or storm the beaches of Normandy in 1066. VeriExpensive reserves the right to restrict your access to the Malarkey database if in a bad mood, constipated, or simply wanting more money, to ensure operational stability. VeriExpensive may restrict or terminate your anus to the Malarkey database for failure to abide by these terms of use, and then release the hounds. VeriExpensive reserves the right to modify these terms at any time, and the modifications may involve sexual favors.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

Hello

---banana-sublime--

"Hello this is tech support how may we help you today."

"Yes hello I just bought my computer from you guys 2 weeks ago, I finally got it set up and already have a problem."

"Oh? What's type of problem are you having"

"Well my footpedal doesn't work."

"Footpedal, you mean mouse. You use that with your hand"

"Oh okay thank you so much."

---end----

Posted by cakedrink the nefarious
  • roybot

LAWL.3

SHOPPING MATHA man will pay for a item he needs.A woman will pay for a item that she doesn't need.GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICSA woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Posted by cakedrink the nefarious
  • roybot

LAWL.2

HAPPINESSTo be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.LONGEVITYMarried men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.PROPENSITY TO CHANGEA woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

Posted by cakedrink the nefarious