July 14th, 2005

  • roybot

Exploding cunt fuckers

I have decided to declare the movie House Of Sand And Fog a tee hee ^ 3 production! Somewhat near the end of the movie a cop forces the husband, wife, and son to stay in their bathroom overnight. During the morning hours you see that the son and mother have shared the bathroom to sleep in using a towel as a pillow. You find that the father has not slept during the night, the son get's up and casually pulls his pants down to sit down for a nice morning shit. Feces level 2 and rising. This moment allows for a tee hee ^ 3 moment. Also Jennifer Connelly is in this and I'd love to fuck her all night.

Posted by cakedrink the nefarious
  • roybot


  • Children are not toys. Despite their relatively harmless appearance, children emit five times more radiation than other people under four feet tall.
  • Do not store children in closed containers, because they emit gas, and doing so can result in premature explosion.
  • Do not inflate your child beyond 150 P.S.I., or Jesus will come back from the dead and kick your ass, just like in that movie.
  • If your child becomes overly agitated, to the point of melting metal, apply 500 c.c.'s of Harry Potter.
  • Do not expose children to Ebola. Doing so voids your warranty.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

political intrigue!!1

In a revelation that has stunned analysts on both sides of the politcal spectrum, the New Yugo Times has reported that Karl Rove was responsible for the leaking of the plot of the latest installment in J.K. Rowling's epic "Harry Potter" series, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

Democrats have pounced on the White House in response, calling for Rove's firing or resignation.

"Shocking," said Sen. John Kerry, "It is simply shocking that Mr. Rove would attempt to score partisan political points at the expense of innocent Harry Potter fans worldwide." Kerry also stated that he thinks the books are "Pretty darn neat."

The Republican National Committee, meanwhile, has issued a "Rowling/Rove Resarch & Talking Points" memo, distributed by RNC Director of Television Propaganda Carolyn Weyforth. The memo contends that Rove did not release the plot information out of revenge, but rather to warn Matthew Cooper from getting "too far out" on a plot summary by R.L. Stein that was "...obviously false. Karl just wanted to make sure an incorrect plot wasn't leaked, because he cares about America."

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker