July 6th, 2005

  • roybot

glute suit

alpha pork squadron to zeta pork squadron: guarenteed instant mortgage approval

zeta pork squadroun to alpha pork squadron: f u asshol

alpha pork squadron to zeta pork squadron: p1ctuar of anna k0rnookova!250181 attached file: VBS.DonaldTrump.YoureFired.exe

zeta pork squadroun to alpha pork squadron: i cast photon torpedo!!31 326 dmg

alpha pork squadron to zeta pork squadron: ow wtf asshol

zeta pork squadroun to alpha pork squadron: mess with the best, die like the rest
mess with the best, die like the rest
mess with the best, die like the rest
mess with the best, die like the rest

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

SLARK NORK BIP (Executive version)

vell. how ahr vee, today, mmm? zee zarklelicker ist sehr zootzi, ja? ah, but vee should get down to zee business: zee use of granuLAR synthesis in coffee brewing. i take my coffee dark, so put in a lot of grains, please. also please adjust zee FILTER CUTOFF so appropriate coffee frequences are passed.

danke.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

what do doctors see, when they look into your ears?

what do doctors see, when they look into your ears?

and is it any different from what they see, when they look into your nose?

what of a colony of britons had set up shop in there, and made a deal with the doctor not to tell you?

what if said colony of britons was looking to establish a soverign nation inside the confines of your skull?

what if, 20 years from now, the sovern nation becomes a nuclear power?

this is a classic example of the logic behind nuclear nonproliferation.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

28405084.bananaloaf.jpg

The snark decalogues

december 23rd, 2012. my 236th banana loaf emerged from the oven with perfect color, tone, and radiation emission levels. the sun had just arisen, and i was winding down from a celebratory night of bakery.

i sampled a slice. it was... tectonicly scrumptious.

i sent jesus a instant message, and told him to come over for banana bread and coffee.

i then went over to my UNIX Terminal!%62346 and logged in. i then mounted the encryped filesystem of doom +3.

as i moved into the "mental sanitation" directory and selected a script to begin the initiative, i mused to myself: "Voltage equals current times resistance."

Juan the penguin was not amused.

i wonder what would happen if margaret thatcher and richard nixon faced off against thor, god of thunder?

i know what jesus would say: there'd be some kneecapin' going down.


Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker
  • roybot

evening hax list

Good evening, you have subscribed to the 1337DATAHAX Labs, Inc. digital OH NOES mailing list. the following are new viruses that have been discovered out in the wild:

VBS.DonaldTrump.YoureFired
GOP.ButtPinch.R
WCFields.Liquid.Lunch
W32/SnaxSnatch.cp@MM
Keebler.CookieSteal.Q
PWS.Kelis.MyYardWorm


Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker