June 30th, 2005

  • roybot

plutronic rrave

HERE IS THE DEFINITIVE FORUMA FOR A BONA FIDE INTERNATIONAL TECHNO HIT:

1. Start with "four to the floor" 808 kick pattern.
2. Do something non-boring with snares on top, using hits sampled from Led Zeppelin.
3. Break into Michael Bolton's house to steal the top secret bassline, and apply it to the track.
4. Sprinkle grass seed on your synth keyboard, or Michael Bolton will find out you didn't and become very angry. And the last guy that he got angry at can't type the letter 'e' any more.
5. Hire VINT CERF to play TCP/IP GUITAR.
6. Apply hippie ambient synth pad and punk driving lead synth in diachronic tandem.
7. Waylay & capture an international pop star travelling through the forest in a horse-drawn carriage, and make them sing "like that pink floyd track on dark side of the moon."
8. Mix with KITCHENAID(tm)
9. Master with parsely garnish.
10. ENJOY FINANCIAL REWARDS

ready, steady, go



Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker