November 10th, 2004

Danger Quibbet III

I stepped through the nebula portal, not knowing what I would find on the other side. A pretty stupid idea, if you think about i- oh, I'm somewhere. I tend to let my mind wander when in hyperspace.

Pardon, sirs and/or madams.

It looked pretty normal. Nothing really out of the ordinary, besides the complete grandma vibe of the room. Not that the design was tacky, but there were absolutely no electronics.

I noticed a calender. 1954.

A man burst into the room from a door behind me. This was not good for my blood pressure.

"You must be the station president!" He cried. "Come quickly!!!211"

I said nothing, and followed. He began to speak again as we moved down a hallway.

"The hyperflux transmitter is broken, and we're told only you can fix it!"

Drat. It must my partner's setup. Since we have the wackywhee time disguise suits on, we look exactly alike. It's handy. There's also a setting on the suits that make us look like the pope which we use on Halloween.

He led me into a room, with a locked door at one side. He then looked at me expectantly.

Right. Thank the gods for technology. I stuck my hand into my right front pocket of my suit, which is actually a link to a communal portal we can use to pass items back and forth. It has nice carpet and it's really cool.

I felt around, and found a key he'd left. Bingo. I also felt something big in there... a piece of stereo equippment or something? I suppose ol' Trev wanted to upgrade his system, and shrugged it off. I opened the door, and went inside, locking the annoying dude out. Haha.

I turned around to see what it was about. And then cracked up.

In front of me was a shitty JVC VCR, which I'd give you good odds my partner was running the station off of. Hilarious, man.

He probably was wowing the 50's crowd with modern TV shows, played over the shitty VCR, and gave it some shitty sci-fi name. And they ate it up.

The VCR was apparently linked to a home-brewed mini-broadcast system, which was picked up by a nearby antenna and then amplified and sent directly to the tower.

Simple, and clever.

I now knew what that home appliance in the pocket portal was. I pulled out the replacement VCR and swapped it in.

Flipping through the tape library, I selected, "Best of Goatse, Volume III."

Excellent, just in time for the dinner crowd.

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker